you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
