Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
