Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize