this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
