two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
