Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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