I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
