Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
