I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
