omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
