So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
