I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
