we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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