i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
