weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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