he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I checked into jail on foursquare
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
