So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
