singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
