Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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