if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
