I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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