; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize