So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
