I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
