he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it because I queefed?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize