She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
