that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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