He kissed a someone with a penis
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
