You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
babies were throwing up all over the place
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You did what with his pubic hair?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
