end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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