I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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