I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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