I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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