theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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