i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize