What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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