Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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