It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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