You really coming over, don't trick.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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