Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Alive.
So much puke
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize