Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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