Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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