Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
