I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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