u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
