I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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