I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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