so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i love accidental penises.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
