Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
