my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
