Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize