Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
