Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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