We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
