thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
