I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
