Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
