Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize