Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
