Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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