Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
