she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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