You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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